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Nifty vs Nefarious
Watch me fight my own insanity....
Asleep or dead 
9th-Jul-2009 03:20 am
I must apologize. I have this nasty habit of saying one thing and then doing nothing about it.

I think I promised I'd come back to haunt you all, but didn't. It's not that I don't like you all, I do, some of you are very dear to me, your words and thoughts influence me greatly and bring me laughter and insights I might not yet have considered.

And though I could come up with many excuses for not coming back, exams being a big one, Sheldon/penny fic being another (As well as merlin fic, epic HP and LOTR fic reading, books, knitting, etc.

I don't know what to say. I just lost fodder to talk about. Well, consider that part ended at the very least.

Even though I don't try to follow the news, news has its ways of following me. As well as shit. Shit and news happen to me in ways I'm not entirely comfortable with. Often they're the same thing.

so yeah, I heard. I heard MJ died, which saddened me and caused me to skip past his folder on my mp3thingumabob for the past week (no more though, my condolences to his family).

And though MJ's death should cause a greater effect in me, Panic's breakup was like the herald of ragnarok. WTF just happened. That's what I've been thinking. I love this band, it's music, it's lyrics and now one of the things that made panic, panic, is no longer there. I don't know the exact reasons for their break up. I wish to though, I think everybody does. I want to know like burning, but simultaneously know I will never know, not really. I've heard rumours though, since nobody is buying the "musical differences" bit. I don't know if they're true, but I hardly doubt the pictures are not, photo manips are easy yes, but I doubt they're fake. Time will telll, and maybe it won't.

I am devastated though, I so desired to see them in concert, live, to experience what so many of you already have. I know this might sound weird, but to me bandom is still rather intangible, due to the sheer distance involved. It's not that I feel left out or anything, or that I want ot meet every single person in bandom (I totally do, since they're like the harbringers of awesome, but it's never gonna happen), I just wish to see them live. Not many of them tour Europe, FOB seems to be one of the few who does, and if they do, they rarely do my country at all. Okay fine, we're tiny, about the size of New Jersey State, but hey they do jersey don't they?

That said.

It feels as if a part of bandom is now lost. I think I get what people may have felt when tom conrad left/was kicked from (no really I don't know what happened there) TAI. And though he's come back, with friends through the Empires, things changed. And change, well it takes getting used to. Which is what I'm doing, getting used to it.

And I fucking hate that. (because everything is changing right now, my life, my school, my friends, my thoughts, I hate it, and yet it has to happen. We cant stay stagnant forever)

This made no sense, but its out there at the least. How have you all been?
Blaine's sage advice
9th-Jul-2009 02:57 am (UTC)
Hi, I missed you here *hugs*

I'm sorry you've been having a hard time though and I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. I know change can suck and if you ever need to talk you can always talk to me. I don't know if you have my email, but it's brittlass26@yahoo.com ♥
9th-Jul-2009 04:07 pm (UTC)
I do have it :D. I'm cool though. I just hate change. But I think it'll be fine, in the end, it always is.
9th-Jul-2009 04:53 pm (UTC)
I hate change too. Mostly I hate that I don't even get a choice in the matter.
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